Solitude: Reconnecting With Yourself

It is said that there are two kinds of people in the world, extroverts and introverts. Extroverted people get their energy socializing and spending time with other people, while introverts get recharge their energy by spending time alone. It's obvious that we live in a world run by extroverts. Let's say you are with a group of friends, but you don't feel like talking. Perhaps you're tired, or the conversation simply doesn't interest you. You can bet that 90 percent of the time somebody will point out how quiet you are, as if it's wrong to be silent. Heck, how about when you feel like spending time alone, yet somebody comes up to you for small talk with topics that have no interest or relevance to you? I'm not saying that small talk is completely bad, it's necessary when you are first getting to know someone, obviously. You're not going to spill your deepest darkest secrets to someone you barely even know, right? So small talk helps with figuring them out.

The point I'm trying to make here is that having occasional time for yourself is actually good for you. When you spend time by yourself, you can learn things about yourself that you didn't know. You can also use that time alone to reflect on your life, you can reflect on what you need to improve on, or what you would like to do in the future. Silence is also good for you. Too much noise can elevate your stress levels by activating the amygdala in the brain, that almond-shaped piece of gray matter responsible for processing our emotions, but silence helps reduce it. The combination of solitude and silence can also make you more creative. Being devoid of distractions in a peaceful environment helps your brain wander more, you daydream more, and as a result, your brain naturally comes up with all kinds of creative ideas that you may have not come up with if you didn't give it some time to 'play around'.

We are all wired differently, but if you are more on the introverted side, or if you can handle it, then I highly recommend taking some time out for peace and quiet. It really is helpful when you want to destress and be more creative. Silence is golden.

Alexis

The Pain Of Stereotyping: Labeling Without Knowing Someone Hurts

I remember how, when I was eight-years-old, I was so excited to start the third grade of elementary school. I was new to the school, and because of my shortage of experience with other children at the time, I thought that things would turn out alright. Life came in, and slapped me in the face with a brick. 2003 was the year when I would get my first wake up call from cold, hard reality, and that reality was that children could be cruel and unfair towards one another. Because I wore glasses and braces at the time, almost everyone had labelled me as a nerd, that was the beginning of my life as an outcast.

Although, children and adolescents tend to stereotype people, even grown ups are just as guilty at doing this. Even in my early 20s I've had people assume that I was some studious person who absolutely loved going to school because of my appearance. It's ironic, because the truth is, while I do love learning and reading, I don't like school, and if anything I hated it because of the struggles I've had to endure because of the school's preference for teaching and explaining in Dutch (since Aruba follows the Dutch school system), and my Dutch was awful. I was actually pretty lazy when it came to school, and would rather have fun than do homework. Heck, I was awful at mathematics and physics, and yet I've had people assume that I was a genius at those subjects all because of my physical appearance.

A lot of people don't realize just how hurtful making assumptions about someone can be, they don't know that what they are doing is defining who you are based on what you look like, rather than for who you are inside. If a guy likes flowers, does that mean he's automatically gay? What if he likes them simply because he admires their beauty, or maybe his mother used to tend flowers, and they remind him of her, which is why he likes them? If somebody likes horror movies, does that mean that they are automatically mentally ill and they need to seek help? What if they simply like the adrenaline rush they get from watching them? I like horror books because of the imagination behind them, and because I think monsters are cool. One time I had someone look at me all creeped when I told them I liked horror books, and they never contacted me since. I like collecting wedding figurines, which in society's eyes, is pretty bizarre for a guy to do (even my own mother finds it bizarre), but I really like them. Yet again I've had another person stop contacting me because of it. They pretended to act as if they weren't creeped out, but it was so obvious. See, that's the thing, a person can have 'weird' tastes, and there might, or might not be a reason behind them, it's just part of who they are, and it doesn't make them any less of a person for it.

As a teenager, the need to be part of a group is strong, and at that age we don't know how important it is to be yourself in order to attract the right people. Many fall under the temptations of peer pressure because of the need to be accepted. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you have to be someone you're not just to be part of a clique, then don't do it! Everyone is different and special in their own way, and if other people tell you to dress or act a certain way to be accepted, then those aren't people who love you for who you are, they are in a sense rejecting your individuality because they don't like it. We outcasts are the rebels of society because despite how painful the rejection and loneliness can be, we don't conform to others' expectations of normality. Many of us eventually grow up to be outside of the box thinkers, the geniuses that others look up to, and the ones who actually make a difference in the world.

I'd say forget the stupid labels, and to hell with the need to conform. This goes out to all the outcasts in the world: be the rebel that you are. Don't let anyone define who you are because of stupid reasons. At the end of the day, the people who love you for your strange tastes are the people who deserve to be in your life, and no one should condemn you for your weirdness. We are all weird, most of us are too afraid to show it.

Alexis