Self-Abandonment And Self-Validation

The media has a way of deluding us into believing certain things which aren't true. Because of romance novels and movies, many people have come to believe that having someone by their side is the key to happiness in life. They feel as though they are incomplete without a boyfriend/girlfriend, and they spend their whole lives searching for that one person, that one piece of the puzzle that is their heart in order to feel happy, but usually end up in unsatisfying relationships with narcissists or Love Avoidant individuals. The idea of destiny, and having a soulmate out there is, without a doubt, a beautiful fantasy. Unfortunately, reality doesn't work like that, and the fact of the matter is that, in order to have satisfying relationships, you need to have a satisfying relationship with yourself first, because our relationships are our mirrors.
So how can we escape the seemingly endless cycle of seeking love outside of ourselves? The answer to that is to start validating yourself, and the best way to do that is to take a moment to self-reflect every day, at the very least ten to fifteen minutes.
During those ten to fifteen minutes sit down, with no distractions whatsoever, and ask yourself:

1. What is it about my hobbies that gives me fulfillment, and why am I proud of myself for spending time on them?

2. What is it about my personality traits that make me proud of myself? If you are a determined person who never gives up, what is it about that aspect of your personality that you like?

3. What is it about my achievements that I am proud of?

Many people aren't fortunate to have grown up with parents who validated their worth, rather, they were made to feel invisible, and as a result, when they grow up, they go on a search for that one person who could give them the unconditional love they felt they never got. Sadly, they usually end up with people who abandon them the way their parents abandoned them, and the way they abandon themselves. Luckily, as someone who has been through similar experiences and overcame them, I can promise you that, as long as you are determined to heal your wounds, it's never too late to become who you were meant to be.

Alexis

The Power Of Gratitude

Nowadays, because of social media, we are bombarded with images of people who seem to have it better than we do in life. Often we will see someone who's getting married, while we still haven't had any luck in finding the one, or perhaps that former classmate of ours might be far ahead in the game of life than we are. These kinds of images can be a source of poison for our mental health, and often, it's difficult not to feel envious of them. We don't choose to feel this way, and it's just our mind's way to motivate us to do better, but is there a way to feel content when we take in the success of others? Luckily for you, there is! By expressing gratitude for the things we already have, we can avoid intoxicating ourselves with envy. One way to do this is by keeping a gratitude journal, but even just taking five minutes every day thank the universe for the things you already have can bring you a sense of inner peace most would love to have.
Here's something I want to you to try out. Pick a piece of paper, and pick five things you're grateful for. After you've thought out what you're grateful for, write down WHY you are grateful for what you have. If you feel jealous when you see that someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend, then think about the kind of love that you already do have in your life, and ask yourself, why am I grateful for having this kind of love in my life? Here's an example:

1. I am grateful for having a roof over my head, since there are other people less fortunate than I am who don't even have a place to keep them safe from the rain.

2. I am grateful for the friends and family that I have, since they are my support system, and not everybody is lucky to have people who care about them the way they do with me.

3. I am grateful for the health that I have, since not a lot of people are lucky to be this healthy.

Gratitude is the antidote to envy, and it's also one of the keys to fulfillment in life. By expressing gratitude you fill in a hole in your heart that begs you to look for fulfillment outside of yourself by either encouraging you to be materialistic or seeking validation from others.

Alexis