Have you ever had a friend in your life who expects you to agree with them all the time? Who seems to be your friend only if you are just like them, and has a need to make themselves the center of everyone's world? Oh yeah, you probably know what type of person I'm talking about. The self-centered friend.
Any person who has healthy self-esteem is able to recognize these people from a distance, but for those whose self-esteem isn't so great, it's a lot harder to spot them. We all have a gut feeling that lets us know when something or someone isn't right, our intuition, but when your self-esteem is low, you are pretty much blind to the red flags because you don't trust yourself.
Let's say you've been hurt by selfish people in the past, what do you do to protect yourself from getting hurt in the future? Well, the sad fact is that selfish people are everywhere, and everywhere you go in life you will meet these kinds of people. The best thing you can do is try to raise your self-esteem so you can spot these people effortlessly, but until your self-esteem is healthy, there are a few signs that can help you spot these people so you can stay away from them.
1. You feel drained after spending time with them. They talk about themselves, and make the whole conversation about them. They never or barely try to show any interest in you. Spend enough time around them, and you'll start to feel like nothing about you really matters. When you spend time with friends, you are supposed to feel nourished, not tired.
2. When you call them out on something they did or do wrong, they shift the blame on you; they try to make you feel guilty for being upset with them each and every time. If you tell them how upset you are, they dismiss your feelings. Here's an example:
Tom and Ronny were two friends who had gone a whole month without texting each other. Ronny stopped texting Tom because he got tired of always being the person to text first. One day, Ronny decided to text Tom again, and after a small conversation, Ronny brought up how he felt regarding Tom ignoring him for a whole month.
Ronny: You know, Tom, I really wish you could try texting me first once in a while. I don't like to feel like I'm the only one putting the effort in this friendship.
Tom: Really? That's why you didn't talk to me for a whole month? What the hell, we're not kids anymore, we're growing up. The only reason I don't chat with you as much is because I know how busy you are.
As you can see from this illustration, Ronny is expressing how upset he is. If Tom was able to empathize with him, then he would have apologized, and tried to make him feel understood. Tom would have tried to improve on his behavior, which was making his friend feel sad. His selfishness doesn't permit him to see anyone else's point of view, only his own.
3. They don't listen to you. They constantly interrupt you, or they change the topic to something else (which probably involves them). That's a clear sign that they are only looking for an audience, and don't really care about you.
Alexis
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